Candy Coated Violin
by Irken PopTart
Summary: While waiting for Tohma to finish work, Ryuichi lets his mind wander which can sometimes be a dangerous thing. Companion Piece to Smile Dragon Eyes


While waiting for Tohma to finish a days work, Ryuichi lets his mind wander as it will. Companion Fic to DragonEyes Series.

This is dedicated to Jmie- who was driving herself absoloutely insane while I was writing it- because I'm evil, and I won't tell her things.

This is also dedicated to Chu.

Gravitation and it's characters are (C) Maki Murakami, I make no profit from this. Experimentation in Ryuichi's POV set in the DragonEyes universe.

Candy Coated Violin

--

He was waiting again. This time being quiet, laying across the soft leather couch in Tohma's office, while the president of NG went about doing all those... 'Presidential' things. He wanted to go home.

Ryuichi wasn't used to not getting things he wanted.

He supposed he could blame Tohma for it really, the pretty dragon-eyed man had gone out of his way to get the brunette anything, and everything he wanted. He allowed a rather nasty smirk to cross his face- which Kumagoro, who was seated on his chest, was quick to point out frightened him.

Ryuichi didn't care right now. Right now- Ryuichi wanted to be a bitch.

He knew he could, it was so inexplicably easy to do. Years upon years of stardom and spoiling had honed his fit-throwing skills to something of legend. It wasn't that he was naturally cruel of course- but Ryuichi didn't suppose he had the same concept everyone else did about the way the world worked...

And right now, he was bitter.

The last time he had had a tantrum, it meant several thousand dollars in lost equipment. But of course, Tohma forgave him. Tohma did a lot of silly, silly things. Like letting him draw on the nice polished hardwood floors. Or letting him destroy things that would normally be very important.

He would just stand there and watch, quietly, patiently as Ryuichi screamed and stamped and made a fool of himself.

He tried to let his mind wander away from less pleasant memories, let it be consumed with thoughts of candy and music, carnivals...Maybe even fluffy animals. Somehow it wasn't working, and all he was left with was the frustration, which he released in a breath of a sigh.

It did not go un-noticed by Ryuichi- or Kumagoro- that Tohma's pen halted for a brief moment in it's extensive scratching out of documents.

But as he gave no further signs of distress, the sound returned.

He wanted to be at home. He wanted to be spending time with Tohma outside of the studio. He wanted to have him writhing beneath him, screaming for him to stop- or for more, it really didn't matter. He wanted Tohma to make enough noise that Sakano would cringe, and Mika would start to cry.

He wanted Kumagoro to stop looking at him like that.

Stupid Kumagoro. It wasn't enough that he had to be jealous of Tohma. No, now he had to start complaining that Ryuichi was letting himself far too fall into bad mood and memories. Kumagoro always told him to not think so much. It was better like that. Just let the world go by, and forget all about the past.

Kumagoro was a very wise bunny. Even if sometimes, Ryuichi just wanted him to be quiet. He wanted his Tohma...

His Tohma...

That smile grew, and Kuma wanted to shudder when Ryuichi looked into his little black eyes. That's right. Tohma was -all- his now. Every. Last. Bit.

Everyone who could have challenged his claim to the willowy blonde was now either dead, or too far from Tohma's reach...

And even then, he knew now that Tohma would never leave.

He told him.

That's right. He had actually -told- his Bunny what he had done. He had fallen apart and been a crying mess, telling his Tohma how -sorry- he was for breaking them. He had made it happen, had caused Eiri's pain, and Kitazawa's death. He told him how he had never meant to cause Tohma any pain...

And Tohma had stayed.

He had officially moved into the penthouse last week, Shuichi had helped him carry the boxes from the apartment he had more or less abandoned over a year ago when he had started living with the Seguchi's... Back when there were two of them anyhow.

But now, there was only Tohma...

He shut his eyes, the smile falling away... That...That he knew was cruel. He never had much against Mika, she hadn't exactly tried to take Tohma away from him... No, it was more that she had taken Tohma after Ryuichi had tossed him down like a broken toy- a toy which he himself had broken- picked him up, and held him together.

It really wasn't fair that she had to die... She loved him, he knew that...He could see the longing in her eyes every time she looked at his Tohma- knowing that he would never belong to her. It wasn't fair then, that by a fluke the woman had been taken from this world...

A fluke...? Was that what his daughter was?

No. No, Mikarin was very special. He loved her almost as much as his Tohma. And she was theirs. That was what Mika had given to them- breathing her last to bring into the world a child that never really should have been.

Tohma had broken the night she died, holding the tiny girl with Mika's features and his own green eyes. Ryuichi had stayed across the room, knowing Tohma had lost the only person to be there when he himself was not- He allowed his Bunny grief over the loss of his dearest friend, silently thanking her spirit for caring for his love all these years- and leaving the two of them with little Mikarin.

Mikarin Melodie... He was sure that Tohma had even pulled a string or two to have 'Sakuma' added to that certificate... That girl would most likely be the only soul alive he could willingly condone sharing his Tohma with.

Everyone else however...

They could just as easily go to hell.

Kumagoro warned him he was letting himself thing about not-so-pleasant things again, but he chose to ignore the bunnies latest warning. Instead, he focused on listening to the soft 'scrrtch' of Tohma's pen.

Letting his mind wander back, he broke the silence.

"I want to go now."

The pen stopped...He knew Tohma had raised his head. He knew the passive expression on those lips. It was telling him his Tohma was exercising patience. His Tohma didn't feel the need to bend over backward to give him what he wanted.

Which was unusual.

Years ago- Ryuichi could have quite plainly told Tohma he wanted blue flamingo's in the next Nittle Grasper video, alongside a white camel, and a tap-dancing bear. And you could bet your life on the fact that when that video hit the air- a variable menagerie would be included.

"I have work to finish Ichi."

This made him turn his head, to look over the arm of the couch, his eyes stern, but not narrowed. "Ichi? Where did that come from?"

Back again was the sound of the pen, with Tohma's soft chuckle... "A question like that- coming from the one who runs down the halls calling me his 'Bunny-chan'?"

"Aren't you?"

"And aren't you my one?"

It seemed that was the end of the conversation, and Ryuichi begrudgingly admitted that perhaps this time he should allow Tohma his work. After all, it was really the first full day any of them had spent back at the studio.

He tried to let the lyrics stirring in his brain blend together to make some sort of tangible song, but nothing came of it. He growled low, and finally sat up fairly sure he had muttered something about going for a walk...

Tohma didn't acknowledge him, but Ryuichi knew quite well he had been heard. They could almost hear one another's thoughts. He liked that. He figured Kumagoro and Tohma needed to have a little time to themselves anyhow.

Down the halls he went, smiling to himself as people scrambled to move out of his way... He never understood it- never bothered to care to. But all he had to do was look at people. Just one well placed look- or nothing at all.

Sometimes he hated how easy it was. Flash a smile and you own someone's soul. Fix a gaze, and you have them cowering. On and on they went about how he was a 'god'. Of course he was. It was impertinent to think otherwise.

Something inside him whispered that he needed to stop thinking like that, because it just wasn't right. The voice was soft and he knew if he listened, it would be his own. But he hardly cared. Really, these people were hardly worth his time...

He slowed, as a sharp flash overtook his vision, and for a brief second, he swore he could see the sad black eyes of a fifteen year old boy that would have been nearly identical to himself, shaking his head slowly, before evaporating. Gone. Just like he always was.

Another growl found itself in his throat, so he settled for letting his anger out on a few new interns, screeching at them for one impossible thing or another, not concerned as they rushed away to get it...

If they were smart- they would know to consult Tohma before retrieving whatever he had asked for, and he would tell them to disregard it. If not...they wouldn't be keeping their jobs, that was for damn sure.

Finding an isolated spot in the cafeteria, he slumped into one of the colorful plastic chairs, letting a little bit of his anger flicker away...

'How did your brother die Sakuma-san?'

'An accident- in a factory.'

His hands found his temple, massaging gently letting out a deep breath... Memories threatened to stir, more flashes of the pretty brunette with eyes black as coal. Sounds and sights he never wanted again- the sensation of fear, and pain, replaced by safety in the arms of someone who faced the same.

He saw the man clearly in his minds eye then. Screaming at him. Roaring drunk. Ryuichi hated drunks. He saw himself- Thirteen years old, staring down the old man as he ranted and screeched about 'That damn rabbit'. Kumagoro. Kuma was there. He had always been... He belonged to his Aniki...That was all he was anymore.

Ainiki didn't even have a name. He couldn't even logical call him 'brother'- the honorific Japanese had become his name.

Aniki had carried Kumagoro around, Mother had made it...he imagined.

He saw the old man meet his eyes again, the dark blue reflecting in deep brown... He watched those eyes widen, as his own would narrow... The man would grip his chest, and jerk forward, he would slump forward... And Ryuichi would watch, eyes narrowed in distaste as his father's heart simply refused to beat any longer.

They would take him away a week later.

He really should have had the sense to listen to Kumagoro, he should have gotten rid of the old man. Or called someone, and ran away. But he didn't quite know what to do at that point...He imagined he'd been a bit confused when things changed again...

Just as he'd been so delighted when Kumagoro had first started speaking.

After Aniki disappeared.

Sometimes. If he thought about it long enough- he could remember helping his father disassemble Aniki in their bathtub... ...Aniki had died in a terrible accident... In a factory.

Because that's where you put things together.

And where you take them apart.

"Ichi?"

He raised his head again, knowing he looked as worn as he felt...

Tohma didn't smile, but waited by the door for him, his eyes sad, Kumagoro held gently in his arms.

"Come on Ichi...Aniki says it's time to go home now."


End file.
